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Board Index > Teen Health | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I am a sophomore in high school. I have had 3 boyfriends my whole life. My first one was in 5th grade, it lasted until 6th grade. He was more of a best friend than anything. We didn't kiss or even hold hands. I don't think we ever even hung out outside of school. I was completely ok with that bcuz I'm quite a "goody good" (I guess you could say) when it comes to that kinda stuff (not to mention we were like 11). So after him was my first REAL boyfriend. If you check some of my older post you will see that most of them are about him. This boy and I dated for a year and a half. I loved him very much, not just puppy love, I really loved this boy. We spent a lot of time together and I was very happy with him. Everything we did was a first for both of us. We started dating at the end of 8th grade and we broke up at the beginning of 10th grade. So as you may assume, we did experiment some with some sexual things. I have never been sure (and really never thought about it until i had been dating him for a while) how long I would wait until having sex. I wouldn't say "I'm saving myself for marriage, no doubt about it, thats the way its gonna stay!" bcuz I don't know that for sure. But I have a VERY strong opinion about it. I have always had a love for children. They are my passion and frankly i feel thats why i was put on this earth, to help them or be involved with them. Anyways, i'm very much against abortion and i don't think people should take the chance of getting pregnant if they can't raise a child. Having said that, I [U]have[/U] decided not to have sex until I am 100% ready and completely in love with the guy, and prepared to raise a child if infact i do get pragnant. Which means, probably not while i'm in high school, as hard as that might be. Seeing as how this 2nd boy I dated was also a virgin, we didn't even discuss sex until we had been together for at least 8 months or so. I had straight up told him I wasn't ready and we weren't going to have sex for a long time(we planned to be together forever, like most first loves). He was ok with that bcuz we hadn't even messed around up to that point. During our relationship we did do pretty much everything except have sex. Sometimes he would talk about those things a little too much which made me think that he really wanted sex. I would get to the point where thats all I would think about. I would ask myself, "is he going to leave me if i don't sleep with him??". But we were really close, and able to talk about this stuff, so we would talk and he would assure me that he was not going to pressure me and some times even say that he wasn't ready yet either. So I guess that was not a BIG problem with him. Since him and I have split, I have been single for quite a while. It was very hard for me to see myself with a guy that had dated others before me. I always thought I'd never be able to do that, just bcuz I knew what all I did with my ex and I knew they would have similiar pasts. That discusted me and completely turned me away from them. I realized though that I couldn't be that way bcuz I myself had done those things and could not be selfish like that, and it would be VERY unlikely to find a guy in high school that had never been with another girl. So eventually I got over that and moved on. Recently I dated a Junior. It was my first time dating someone older than me and not only had he dated many other girls, I knew for a fact that he had slept with his most current ex. It really didn't bother me at all, bcuz I think I knew from the beginning that I wasn't going to be with this guy forever and sex would probably not be an issue. But boy was I wrong. Sex was brought into the conversation right from the start. He instantly began making comment and jokes about it, I guess to see where I stood. I didn't lower myself for him, I made it clear from the beginning that he would not be getting that from me. I have since broken up with that boy(not bcuz of that topic) but I now see that sex is going to be a huge part of every relationship I have in high school. I realize that most hs boys are horny all the time and when they see a pretty girl, or especially date one, they are going to bring it up and hope to get some. But that makes me not wanna date. I feel like a tease or something. I mean I tell them from the start that its NOT going to happen. And I don't have a problem messing around, i mean after i know them very very well (i'm not some 2 bit *****) but I don't want to have sex yet. Does that make me some goody good that needs to just get over it and do what everyone else is?? I wanna stand behind my beliefs, but if its going to push everyone away, I feel kinda dumb. Any advice would be nice. Sorry this is sooo long :yawn:

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