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Teen Health Message Board

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I had the exact same problem in school, especially high school. Most girls hated me on sight because of my looks (which sound identical to your daughter's) and the attention they received, and the girls that did try to befriend me eventually ended up backstabbing me and spreading rumors just like all the other girls. It really is just jealousy and insecurity, not that that's very comforting and makes the rumors any less hurtful. Looking back, I think the girls I knew really just resented how I always had boyfriends and lots of guy friends, but the only way they could vent their envy was by attacking and making up rumors about me. I really feel badly for your daughter and wish there was some easy way for you to make this nonsense stop, but unfortunately there's not much you can do about gossip. Changing schools might help, and hopefully the rumors will stop or at least decrease as her peers get older and a bit more mature. You could also try talking to a teacher or principal about the problem and seeing if they will discipline your daughter's primary tormentors. I really feel bad for your daugher--the only thing that really helped me was developing a thick skin, surrounding myself with protective and loyal male friends, and showing the girls that I couldn't care less what they thought of me. I learned to intimidate them by acting like I knew that they were insecure and jealous of me, and in retrospect, I did learn some important lessons from the experience (not to care what people think of me and not to stress out about things that you can't control). Eventually they lost interest in going after me once they saw they didn't get to me, so the best advice I have for your daughter is to keep her chin up, hold her head high, project confidence and a carefree attitude, and rise above her petty, jealous rivals. Hopefully they will see that your daughter sees them for the insecure, envious, and vengeful losers they are, and leave her alone. I hope things look up for your poor daughter soon, and if not, perhaps you might want to seriously consider moving her to another school.

Good luck and best wishes :),

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