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Teen Health Message Board


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Hi em,

I am 27 years old, so I'm young enough to still remember what it was like in high school, but old enough to give you some tips on things that I wish I would have known then about boys.

I always thought I wasn't pretty enough to get guys. Boy was I wrong! I thought that way so much that I married my high school sweetheart (who didn't go to my school) when I was only 20 because I thought we were about in the same league as far as looks go, and well, I got divorced 3 years later because I found out that I could do much better! Don't want to sound conceited, but today I can actually pretty much get any guy I want. In high school, I never got asked out or noticed by any guys, really. At least thats what I thought, although I bet now there were guys who did notice me but were afraid to approach me.

I'll tell you this: I think that all that most guys really think about, whether they admit it or not, is sex. Sex, sex, sex. (Of course this depends on their age). It is just they way they were made. (as you can see from the response on here from Eric telling you to show cleavage -- perfect example of what I'm getting at here). That doesn't mean all men are bad, because some of them are also sensitive and sweet and kind and caring and all that too. How can you use this info to your advantage? I'm not sure, but definatley don't use it to sleep around or anything like that, guys don't like that either.

Most guys (and girls for that matter) like the chase -- they don't want a girl throwing themselves at them, but at the same time, they are too scared to approach girls. This is a problem that has been apparent throughout history.

And there is this important little fact to remember: Guys are just as self-consicious and akward and afraid to approach girls as you are worried about approaching them -- they are probably even more so! If you really like someone, you can try approaching him yourself. You might be surprised. Although, he can still be scared to talk to you even after you talk to him. I think guys are more afraid of rejection than girls.

Now, be careful here, because some guys take their insecurities and turn it into meanness...meaning, they will make fun of you or be a complete jerk and use your feelings for them against you. You should be able to pick these guys out -- and stay away from them. They are immature jerks. Some guys seem really conceited but that is probably because they are so insecure that they feel they have to have a big ego so people will think they are tough -- this is a mental problem. Again, stay away from these types, for now. Remember that girls tend to mature a lot faster than guys.

I would try to find someone that you have something in common with -- like you both like the same type of music or you both like to go 4 wheeling or whatever it happens to be. It helps to start out as friends. This would really get you noticed too. I mean, of course he's going to think you're cool if you are interested in the same things. But remember to always be yourself.

As far as this guy who is flirting with you, he probably does want to pursue something you with. Maybe you could find something that you both have in common and invite him out to an activity related to what you have in common?

As far as the rest of the guys who make jokes about your period, etc.. just remember what I said on how girls mature faster than boys.





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