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Re: Help me, girls
Feb 3, 2006

First off, I want to say, do NOT get discouraged when it comes to girls. Don't be too hard on yourself, because at your age, almost everyone struggles with fitting in and dealing with the opposite sex. Although it might not seem that way, it’s true. And, the good news is that I can tell you things will indeed get much better after high school, when you become an adult and go to college or whatever you choose to do.

Your weight may matter more to girls at your age now. Some girls may be put off by it, especially the skinny stuck up girls. Girls are very superficial in their teens. But as soon as you are older and the older you get, it will be less and less of an issue, and some women will even prefer a heavier guy. I know I do! I like to be with a heavier guy because he makes me feel small, which it a turn on to me. But, when I was a teenager, I liked thinner guys. I am an attractive girl, now I'm 27 years old, but I act and look young for my age. And I would definitely go out with a heavier guy today. My boyfriend has a beer guy right now I think it is sexy. But I don't think I would have thought that when I was younger.

I think you'll be OK.. Just be yourself. Focus on developing FRIENDSHIPS with girls right now, because that will help you when you're an adult. Don't worry about moving too fast into something romantic. I know you probably wish for that, but take it slow, don't worry, not everyone is out "gettin' some" even though it may seem that way. And if you are good friends with a girl, she will see you for more than just your body, and she will like your personality and I know it sounds cliché, but women will be more attracted to what is on the inside, especially when you get older.

My brother is 21 years old and in college and he is probably close to 300 lbs. He had friends that were girls in high school but never anything romantic. Like you, he wore hoodies and jeans all the time. Now, he has had a girlfriend for over a year. She is also heavy, but they get along great. Like I said, weight will matter a lot less when you're out of high school.

Either way, don't give up. Try to be confident in yourself -- girls like confidence. And, try not to act too desperate with girls, pursuing someone too much can be a turn off. Just talk to girls like they are a friend and treat them like humans. Focus on the things you like to do, your hobbies and interests -- girls like guys who are "deep" in some way, like if they are really into music or sports or something. And you can wear more than just hoodies and jeans -- find your own style. I bet you can look good in button down shirts and stuff like that too, even shorts in the summer. Remember to take care of yourself, keep yourself clean, etc.

As far as the mean girls in your past, I know exactly how you feel. I was teased a lot when I was younger too. But the pain caused by the teasing will go away, in time, if you live your life right. And lots and lots and lots of guys don't have the courage to talk to girls. That is totally common. Hey, maybe some day a girl will talk to you first, ya never know.

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