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Teen Health Message Board

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Board Index > Teen Health | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I got engaged when I was only 18 years old to a guy I met when I was 16. I ended up getting married at age 20 and divorced three years later. I was WAY too young to settle down. There is SO MUCH that happens in a woman's life in her early 20s -- things that you don't want to miss being tied down in a marriage. I ended up cheating on my husband - something I NEVER in a million years would've thought I'd have done when I was a teenager. It was horrible, horrible -- the guilt on my part, hurting him -- all because I was too young to have known better. And I was mature for my age, even back then -- I was a smart girl. Everyone told me that you need to "find yourself" before settling down with someone for the rest of your life - and I didn't believe them. My life would've been much much easier if I only listened. What does it mean to "find yourself" ?? Well, I'm still figuring that out at age 27. Maybe I would've figured it out by now if I never got married. But one thing I do know is you don't find yourself in someone else -- its something that you do on your own.

People grow and change. She hated this guy and changed her mind about him -- why does she think she won't change it again?

Marriage can change a relationship. Especially when you're young. Has her BF proposed? Is he older? Marriage isn't easy at any age. He can change after marriage -- become more controlling, or take you for granted.

In my post-divorce bitterness, I now see no point in marriage unless you're planning a family (just my opinion now -- don't get on me for that)... and there is no reason to have kids when you're young -- women are having babies now in their 40s! There's so much time, so much to see and do.

Marriage seems like a fairy tale, but even if its the right time and place, that fairy tale can be very hard to maintain. Why would she want that added stress in her life? What's wrong with just dating?

Six months is not enough time to get to know someone before settling down with the FOREVER. Does she realize marriage is a committment that is intended to last forever? Meaning, you will never ever again experience the touch or love or attention of another...There's no reason to rush into that decision. Love fades -- no matter what you do -- the love will fade and you can be left out in the cold when it does. A strong marriage is built on more than just love -- its a deep partnership that will stand strong even after the feelings of lust have faded. Its an unconditional feeling. If she's unconditionally in love with this guy (meaning, she'll love him if he gets fat, bald, hairy, sick, etc...) why not just date for a few years? You're already in love -- that's all you need. Don't need a piece of paper to be in love....

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