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well here the story;

me and this guy had been going out for 9 and a half months, and suddenly he turns round to me and says, "look, i dont want a girlfriend". he really did break my heart. we used to always say we loved each other, and i know i do still love him now. we have also done things sexually together but never had sex.

i had to know why he didnt want a girlfriend, he said it was because of the responsibility of having a gf at 15, and that he didnt want anything that may turn serious. I had to ask him if he still loved me, and he said "its for the best, no"

i felt so low and alone at that point

i dont understand, he just tells me that he doesnt want a girlfriend? so now we have been split up for 3 days.
but yesterday i went round to a friends house and my ex was there. i had to stop myself from crying at the time. later on in the day he came up to me and started hugging me loads, and he said that he was sorry for what happened. I said that it was ok and i'd be able to move on soon enough. But then he said, im sorry for this, and kissed me.

here where it gets confusing. why did he kiss me when he said that he didnt care for me anymore? i didnt kiss him back because i didnt know what to do.

after he kissed me, he carried on hugging me loads throughout the day, then one of my friends said to him "i dont think you should keep hugging 'angelwing' like that because its just making her more confused about what you want"

and i totally agreed with what she said. but i still needed to talk to him.
we chatted and i said that i was confused with what he wanted. and he said that nothings really changed, that he still loves me and only said he didnt to make me get over him more quickly. he said could i give it a week and see if we could get back together, but i said no. he cant just through away 9 and half months and break my heart then say he wants to get back together in like a week?!

when we were chatting we hugged alot, and he went to kiss me, but i didnt pull back, i missed him, what could i do? now we are in this funny situtation, were we are only friends, but we hug more than friends and kiss.
i cant tell him i love him, because friends dont say that to each other

but im so confused still. he told me he missed me etc, but doesnt want a gf right now.

what does he want then? a relationship with no strings attached?

so i guess you could say that we are 'seeing' each other.
but its so confusing, he acts as if we are going out when we're around each other, we flirt etc, but when we talk on the internet he doesnt say i love you like he used to, because i guess he cant.

i just want to know what you guys think i should do, am i being messed around here?
what happens if i go back out with him in about a couple of months or so just to get blown off again?

what can i do?
any help on my silly situation would be great thanks
[COLOR=DarkRed]sounds like a sticky situation...


i've been on both sides, as the one breaking the heart, and the one whose heart was broken... and as much as you're going to hate me... most recently [[about 2 yrs ago]], i was the heart breaker...


i was in the relationship for 2 yrs, and after a while, i realized that i had grown up, and he hadn't... sooo though i still had feelings for him, i felt like i needed out... a week after i broke up with him, we kissed... then i refused to see him...


eventually, we started talking again, and slowly, i want to be with him again... about a month and a half after i had ended things, we had a "secret fling" and were "together" for about 3 more months...


he's a really great guy, and everything, but, it ruined the amazing friendship we had before and during our relationship... if i knew what i know now, i would have stayed away and let each of us heal before we started talking again...


----
i know, its rough, but, if you really think this guy is amazing, go with what he told you, things wouldn't be better in the long run if yall are together... mixed signals are no fun... but if he broke up with you, i wouldn't be in any rush to get back together with him... despite how much you love him... i, for one, would be terrified that it would happen again...


hope everything goes well!!!


(((hugs)))[/COLOR]
thankyou so much, its made things clearer for me now
Aww any situation like this is always tough to go through!!

If he told you that he isn't ready for a serious relationship.. it may just be that. A lot of guys are afraid of commitment and while they may still CARE about you a lot or even love you, they are afraid that it's going to turn into marriage and no more going out and having fun.

If he is still hugging you and he seems sincere about it, then I'm sure he does still really care for you. He probably feels bad about it and doesn't want to hurt you, but doesn't know what else to do.

I would just stick around and be friends... and nothing more for now. Just see how it works out and if things stay the same or if things start to change. If he is ready for a serious relationship he needs to come to you and tell you that (in the future). If you guys are meant to be together it can happen later on in life.. but just take things slow and be friends for now until he knows wha the wants!
Almost excact same situation that my gf's friend had. The guys is probably a little immature *******. I would say that "I dont want a gf" is a cover for I'm bored with being with just you. Hugging and kissing, he wants the sexual stuff but not to be only with you. Drop him now, I mean drop him, dont talk, dont look, dont associate at all with him, if you dont he will try to use the love he knows you still have to his advantage.





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