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Who I really am?
Oct 16, 2006
So throughout life you learn a lot of things about yourself. Some things help you find yourself, others make it more diffucult to do just that. I'm at a point in my life where I'm very confused about who I really am. I believe that I try to be who others need me to be. And unfortunately I'm alright with doing that if it'll make everyone happy in the end(and make things easier for me). But that is only going to get me so far. Eventually I am going to have to know who I am before I can truly let anyone else know me. You know that saying 'You have to love yourself before you can let others love you'? Well I've always been like, I do love who I am, so I'm fully capable of letting others in and loving them back. However, how can you love someone you dont even know? I don't know myself. There are so many things about myself that I have yet to figure out. But now, more than ever, is the perfect time for me to "find myself". So can anyone help me figure out how to do this?!

I didn't mention that I am still young. I know that I have plently of time to really discover myself. But to be in a relationship or have good friends, I need to be able to show them who I really am. But do keep in mind that I am under 20, so I can't just get up and leave everything around me, although that might be helpful, haha. And I do write, all the time. Its one of my favorite things to do. And through that I have learned some things about myself. But when I go back and read them, I often point out the negative things. I think I am becoming a better person through my writing though. And I do try to have some alone time to think, but some times that just depresses me because I think of all the bad things I have done and what not. I have always wanted a therapist to talk to, but my mother doesn't see it necessary, so there isn't much i can do at my age.
Right now I think I'm mostly concerned about this b/c there is a guy I've been talking to that seems to be completely sure of himself so I often fall into who I think he needs me to be. But in all reality, I dont think he even knows himself, or what he needs or wants. He tells me not to change for him, b/c thats the worst thing I could do. And I know that, but I want 'us' to work so much that I'm willing to do what it takes to make him happy with me. But it doesn't seem like thats working. So maybe if I actually figured out what I WANT, I could let him see that, and things would be ok.
I dunno, any suggestions about any of this?!?!





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