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Board Index > Teen Health | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Why does she think moving out will ruin your life? I understand a parents concern for their child's happiness and well being, but she's not really offering anything better! I'm actually going through a semi-similar situation... I'llbe moving in with my boyfriend in August and his mother doesn't approve.. but it's because she thinks a couple should be married before living together.. anyway...

Yes there are risks to moving in with a boyfriend//girlfriend. But there are going to be risks whether you're 17 or 25, marrried or not, together for 1 year or 10. Just like a couple will have their share of problems whether they're together for 6 months or 20 years. There will always be risks in life, in everything we do. You have to take risks to learn things, even if they turn out to be mistakes. The trick to making a relationship work is love, trust, honesty, communication and compromise. Living with your boyfriend will come with its share of complications... but as long as the two of you work through the little quarks, things will be ok... which is more than can be said for your relationship with your mother.. or so it seems.

If the two of you are both stubborn, then you'll most likely always tend to butt-heads in a disagreement. Moving out may give you both the space you need and may ulitmately improve your relationship.

My own personal experience.. I never had a bad relationship with my mother.. but between 16 - 18 years old, we constantly got into fights. I thought I was old enough to make my own decisions, she still wanted me to live by her rules (rightfully so, I see now!). But constant headahces, fights, punishments.. I constantly broke cerfew and disrespected her as a mother. When I was 19/20 yrs old, I moved about 2 hours away after transfering colleges. Our relationship improved greatly! I can actually talk to her now as a friend. I also have more respect for her. (that may be something that comes with age as well, I'll be turning 24 in May) I think moving away and realizing how much she did do for me gave me a greater appreciation for her. Now, when I go home.. if I visit for more than 2 nights, we start to step on eachother's toes!! She's used to her space and I'm used to mine! But in my own experience.. moving out helped our mother-daughter relationship.

Everyone situation is different.. but it sounds like your's may turn out similarly to mine.

I'd try talking to her again. Let her know that you're not necessarily moving out to run away from her or anything like that.. but that you really think that this is the best solution to the current problem. Tell her that you understand that there are risks with moving in with your boyfriend, but that you hope if things to do wrong, that she'll welcome you home with open arms... and that this is a risk you are willing to take, in order to better the entire situation.

As a mother, she is probably battling with the idea of you growing up and being able to make your own decisions. I think if you approach her with a mature attitude, she'll see that you are responsible and capable of making smart choices... show her that she raised you right.

Good luck. :)





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