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ive been friends with this girl for like 5 years, been very close for 3, and man... ive been thru so much with her.
all the guys shes liked/been with... i sat there in jealousy cuz i really do like her.
we hooked up a few times then stopped, she went on to other people, i still like her.
im usually pushed to the side, just there for her to rant, for support, she goes and hangs with whoever, and im always here for her. always have been. shes moody, i think she has bipolar disorder, and basically... i think she knows im the only guy that can stand all of her **** and still talk to her the next day. i put up with so god damn much. sunday she was flirting with me on the phone, monday i thought she liked someone else, i texted her and havent really talked to her. i dont know if shes mad. i havent seen her online all night, so i texted asking where shes been and she said she just got home at 10. i figured id call since i want to talk to her, it rings, she picks up "I CANT TALK RIGHT NOW" and hangs up.
i dont know when ill get a break. god knows if she was hanging out with the kid, i understand girls can hang out with guys and not like em, but im jealous anyways cuz some people say theres something, but the kids sister says its not really anything.
i dont know how she could go from flirting so much sunday, making me feel so good, telling me it'd be cute for us to watch a movie, shed take me to the relay for life saturday, to barely talking.

honestly, ive stuck around through SO MUCH CRAP, we didnt talk for a month in the summer, we havent talked so many times in the past, fought so much, ive been there for her thru all her failed boyfriends, and i still like her. i dont know why i cant get her out of my head and i cant shake the thought of her. i try and convince myself that i dont need her, my friends hate her, they think shes so bad for me, tell me not to talk to her, i try and convince myself all this, but when i make up and she hugs me it feels like everything is alright.

do you think ill ever get a break, and shell realize all i do for her? why cant i shake her?

::sigh::





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