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Teen Health Message Board


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I wish I could help you...I feel so bad for you. You sound really miserable at home. I dont have alot of answers for you, but I do have one answer....Running away will only create new problems and they will be much bigger than the ones you have right now.

Think about it....if you ran away, where would you go? I mean, first of all, you are still a kid, and whether you see that or not, to ALL adults, you are still a kid, so no adult is going to hire you for a decent job that will pay enough for you to have enough money to rent an apartment, make a car pmt, pay for car insurance, pay the phone bill, electric bill, satellite for the tv and computer, buy groceries, etc.

Even IF you COULD find a job to pay for all that, you STILL couldnt get any of it, b/c until you are 18, you are not legally an adult, so apartment mgrs cant legally rent to you, (even if they wanted to, which they wouldnt.) Also, the other bills I just mentioned, couldnt help you either b/c you cant legally enter sign a contract yet for the electric bill, phone bill, satellite, water bill, to get a car or insurance for the car, etc. Because you are a minor, you couldnt be legally made to pay for this stuff since you arent legally allowed to sign contracts yet. Make sense?

So, basically, if you ran away, you'd be living with friends or relatives or on the streets. If you went to stay with a friend or relative, they WILL call your parents b/c they have to, since your parents will file a missing person's report, and if they didnt tell your parents where you are, it could be considered kidnapping (even though you went there voluntarily), and it could also be considered contributing to the deliquency of a minor. So, they WOULD tell your parents, and your parents would STILL be the ones to decide if they'd let you stay with the other people, (and that is IF the other people would let you, which is a BIG if!)

IF (again, a BIG if!) the other people let you stay, they would still have rules in there house, just like your parents do, and chances are, the same things you do that irritate your parents would also irritate them, and ultimately you'd be in the same shape you are in right now.

So, that only leaves 2 other options....living on the street or staying where you are. Obviously, living on the street would not be appealing, what with having no where to sleep, nothing to eat, wearing the same (filthy) clothes day after day, etc. Not to mention that no girl is going to date some homeless guy, so you can forget about EVER having sex or even getting close enough to talk to a girl, b/c they'll all be scared of you if you are homeless!

So, hopefully by now, you are starting to realize that staying put is your only rational option. Yes, I know you are miserable. I know you are telling me that treat you bad. But, you are a teenager, and you only have a little while left that you have to live there. After all, soon you WILL be 18, out of high school and then you CAN leave and get your own place and a job and move away from them or you can go to college and live in the dorm and be away from them.

You have put up with them all these years, you can do it for a few more. After all, you are in school all day, and then there are only a few hours between the time you get home from school and when you go to bed. So, why not try to fly under their radar and get along with them and do what they want for a little while longer, and then in a few more years, you will be out your own and can do as you please.

I know it is rough. My parents were very strict and controlling. (My Dad is a preacher, so you can imagine how rough it was!) But, I got thru it and you will too.

Meanwhile, school is going to start up again soon. I would advise you to join as many clubs as you can that have activites after school. This will get you out of the house and away from them for a few more days awake and will get your mind off things. Hopfully, you will also make friends there that you can talk to who are going thru similar things with their parents/siblings. It DOES help to know others are going thru the same thing and getting thru it too.

As hard as it is now, you WILL get thru this! I promise. Somehow, we all did!

Best of luck to you!

Sincerely,
Amy





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