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Sexual Health - Teens Message Board


Sexual Health - Teens Board Index


Hey bud, I've felt that same way and most of us do from time to time. Porn is degrading, particularly to women and it can really be habit forming. However, it does help us achieve desired results from masturbation and helps things seem real. Fantasy and masturbation go hand in hand, no pun intended. If something makes us feel guilty is it really worth doing? After a long time I was able to overcome the porn stuff and became able to masturbate to thoughts only. While I still feel guilty about this, like I said, fantasy does help with the situation. I'd encouarge you to leave the porn out of your masturbation habits and see how it goes. If you've got magazines, destroy them. If it is computer porn, then masturbate somewhere else OR see if you can somehow block those sites on your puter, this will slow down your access and maybe give you more time to think through it. You've already taken the first step, reaching out through this site and being honest with yourself and others about how this feels. Hang in there bud, keep in touch and just keep focusing on not grabbing porn everytime you want to masturbate. In time it will get easier, it did for me. And yes, you're probably going to hear from some folks who say it isn't a big deal, don't worry about it and all of that. But you do worry about it or you wouldn't have raised it here. Hang tough and be honest with yourself, you can overcome this and feel less guilt about your masturbation habits. Just remember, you're not alone in this, many of us have (do) feel just like you right now!
[QUOTE=Lance2]Hey bud, I've felt that same way and most of us do from time to time. Porn is degrading, particularly to women and it can really be habit forming. However, it does help us achieve desired results from masturbation and helps things seem real. Fantasy and masturbation go hand in hand, no pun intended. If something makes us feel guilty is it really worth doing? After a long time I was able to overcome the porn stuff and became able to masturbate to thoughts only. While I still feel guilty about this, like I said, fantasy does help with the situation. I'd encouarge you to leave the porn out of your masturbation habits and see how it goes. If you've got magazines, destroy them. If it is computer porn, then masturbate somewhere else OR see if you can somehow block those sites on your puter, this will slow down your access and maybe give you more time to think through it. You've already taken the first step, reaching out through this site and being honest with yourself and others about how this feels. Hang in there bud, keep in touch and just keep focusing on not grabbing porn everytime you want to masturbate. In time it will get easier, it did for me. And yes, you're probably going to hear from some folks who say it isn't a big deal, don't worry about it and all of that. But you do worry about it or you wouldn't have raised it here. Hang tough and be honest with yourself, you can overcome this and feel less guilt about your masturbation habits. Just remember, you're not alone in this, many of us have (do) feel just like you right now![/QUOTE]

Well thanks man. But since all my friends do it and discuss it openly it gets that little bit harder, but yeah I'll give this whole stop it thing a go, i'll try my hardest.

But the real problem is that I don't actually get the urge to masterbate when I don't anticipate porn, and when I do get horny looking at something on T.V you kinda don't want to get an erection when your WHOLE FAMILY is sitting there.
[QUOTE]Orginally posted by DDJ
I think it might also be down to social teachings and believe it or not admitting this has made me feel better and there seems to be a sense of closure however there is still this thorn in my mind that even though it is 'alright' there is something about porn that is wrong, and I don't think it is women degrading themselves because being slightly controversial they want to.[/QUOTE]
I'm glad that it's helping you to get some closure on the issue. The more you understand why you feel guilty about it the better you'll be able to decide on an appropriate action if any is needed.

Later in that post you asked if I view porn. Yes I do. I used to feel guilty about it much the same as you, the reason I felt guilty was because of the strict moral teachings in my church which condemned both pornography and masturbation. I tried the avoidance tactic for a long time when I was trying to be devout to my religion but to be honest I had my moments of weakness. It's not an easy thing to be rid of. While I was in my religion I would always feel guilty both when viewing porn or masturbating and I was never able to be free of those feelings of guilt, the only solace I could find was in repentance. Even that tho made me feel guilty because I felt like I was not truely repentant if I continued to make the same mistake. In my case I found freedom from guilt after I underwent a serious introspection of myself and what I really believed and why I believed it. I ended up realizing that I didn't really believe in my church but that I was just doing as I was raised to do. Just like all children grow up physically there is a time when they must grow up mentally and emotionally as well and decide for themselves if what they have been taught is correct and then make choices based off that decision. Breaking away from my church was not what brought me freedom from guilt however. It was understanding that those feelings / desires are normal and natural. They're part of who we are as a people. I agree with the other posters that pornography and masturbation *can* be degrading and demoralizing but it does not have to be. Just like violent cartoons and television programs *can* have a detrimental effect on people. Just because something can have a negative effect does not mean that it always does. Why is that? Because the person has the ability to seperate fantasy from fiction, whether they do or not is up to the individual. Moderation is important in all aspects of our lives including masturbation and pornography. Too much pornography *can* lead to addiction and it is a hard addiction to break.

I can't tell you whether pornography is bad for you or not. You're the only one that can make that decision. My goal in this post is not to try to convince you that pornography is a good thing or that you should view it. For many people it is like an alcoholic allowing himself the occasional drink, it's too much temptation to handle. I'm also not trying to convince you that you should leave your religion or abandon your beliefs only that you should try to understand why your religion is against pornography rather than just taking it for granted. If you understand your religions reason behind their stance then it may help you to deal with the guilt a little easier, or you may find that you disagree with the religion on that point. You are your own person and there is nothing saying that you can't disagree with points of doctrine and yet still believe in many of the teachings. There are more religions than I can count in this world precisely because of that. The bible itself is not and never was a complete book. It is a collection of writings that were VOTED in by some scholars that had a large selection of writings to choose from! They didn't know which were legitimate and which were fake they had to take their best guess. A religion is not God, people don't worship religions. Don't force yourself into the cookie cutter mold just because that's what everyone else is doing. Do what YOU believe is right and good and you will find yourself living a much happier life all around.





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