It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - Teens Message Board


Sexual Health - Teens Board Index


[QUOTE=Kalashkinov;2997377]I'm seventeen and have never been in a relationship before. All this talk among classmates about sexual encounters and etc have totally freaked me out. I remember sitting in biology class two years ago listening to a couple of girls laugh about having oral sex during a party and I was stunned. Sex seems to be mandatory in a beginning relationship and because I'm not comfortable with that, I've found it easier to just not be interested at all. I can't even touch myself, let alone have another person touch me or even look at me a certain way.

Is this normal? For now I tell my friends that I'm waiting until marriage, but I'm terribly confused. Is this the age to be getting drunk and throwing myself at people just to say that I've done it? I don't want to end up old with a bunch of cats and a shrivelled uterus.

Please help![/QUOTE]

I am curious as to why you can't even touch yourself? There is nothing to be ashamed about, and it is in fact incredibly normal.

Being 17, and having never been in a relationship is not at all uncommon. You are you, and if you don't want to be a person who engages in promiscuous activity right now, then thats perfectly fine, and perfectly normal. Don't ever use other people as examples, everyone goes at their own pace, and does things their own way.

Sex is not mandatory in the beginning of a relationship, you always have the choice to say no. If by saying no, that person decides to not continue the relationship, then all the better for you. If you do become interested in someone, and you would really like to date them, then ask them out. Its not being fair to yourself, for you to decide that EVERYONE will demand sex of you, because thats just not the case. You decide to have sex when its right for you, and only then, many many people will respect that decision.

A lot of kids at your age are all talk too. The things they say they are doing, and the things they are actually doing, most of the time are two different things. So while its fine to assume that somewhere theres morsels of truth, most of the time its being exaggerated. It is not a requirement of life to party, have sex, and drink all before your 18th birthday. If you don't feel comfortable doing what other people around you are saying they are doing, then go out and do what you enjoy. Go to the movies, play games, play outside, anything. All of those things, I can assure you are much better than drinking and having sex with whoever is in the room at the time. Most of the girls who are doing that anyway, feel very empty inside, and while it looks like they are enjoying themselves on the outside, usually they are disgusted with themselves inside.

High school is rough, and you just need to stop looking to other people as examples. You do your own things at your own pace, and you can never go wrong. Your conscience is forever your best friend, and as long as you are happy with what you are doing, then thats the way you should be doing it.

Start dating when the time is right for you, and say no to sex if you aren't ready.
[QUOTE=Kalashkinov;2997377]I'm seventeen and have never been in a relationship before. All this talk among classmates about sexual encounters and etc have totally freaked me out. I remember sitting in biology class two years ago listening to a couple of girls laugh about having oral sex during a party and I was stunned. Sex seems to be mandatory in a beginning relationship and because I'm not comfortable with that, I've found it easier to just not be interested at all. I can't even touch myself, let alone have another person touch me or even look at me a certain way.

Is this normal? For now I tell my friends that I'm waiting until marriage, but I'm terribly confused. Is this the age to be getting drunk and throwing myself at people just to say that I've done it? I don't want to end up old with a bunch of cats and a shrivelled uterus.

Please help![/QUOTE]

As someone who lost their virginity at 15 just for the sake of "getting it over with" I can tell you... it is not worth it! Wait!! Wait until you are ready and with someone you care about and you know cares about you!

I know it's hard hearing it all the time, and maybe feeling out of the loop... but you will really really really regret sleeping with just anybody. For many reasons you don't want to just mess around with anyone to get experience; disease, pregnancy... but it is a big toll on your emotions as well. If you're not comfortable with the idea of sex it means you're not ready.. and that is ok. There is no age limit, like at 16 you get your drivers liscence and you lose your virginity! Only you will know when you're ready.

Let other people throw themselves at guys. They'll gain a bad reputation and possibly worse. Sadly alot of girls think that if they kiss a boy or more it will lead that guy to like them....that is very untrue! Alot of girls mess around with boys to feel better about themselves. This was true for me; I had such low self-esteem that i didn't think anyone ever would want to be with me and esepcially see me naked! So I did it with this guy that was intersted because I thought it was unbelievable that he'd want to see me like that. I've regretted that night ever since.. and didn't have sex again until I was 18 and in a relationship with a guy I loved and new loved me.

There are moments in life when we need to make mistakes to learn some things... unfortunately i learned the hard way. Sounds like you know you're not ready. Listen to your gut, not your peers.

You won't end up an old cat lady with a shrivled uterus! You'll continue through high school, enjoying your friends and start looking into colleges, you'll graduate and leave for college, you'll live your life the way you want to, the way you know is best for you and along the way you'll meet various guys, some that will work out and some that wont... but somewhere among them you'll meet the guy that makes you comfortable, that makes you feel special and that you'll want to be with completely. Wait for someone who is worth waiting for.

You can and should only do what's right by you.

(Sorry for the long reply! I get all parenty with posts like this because of my own worst mistake!)





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:40 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!